One of Our Christmas Miracles

Thinking about Christmas...
     Christmas time is usually steeped in tradition. I have always tried to think of ways to celebrate the holiday everyday between Thanksgiving and the New Year. But every year is different and I have tried to live by my parents' example and be careful about being TOO traditional and to not get too upset if we can't do what we have done every year. I think God does like tradition as long as we don't become comfortable in it. Even from an early age God has given me the ability to be flexible. I have even taught a different grade every year... and I have liked that!
     I say all of that because when you have kids with special needs, you need to be flexible! This is true with any kids, but especially true for us. God knew I would need to be able to be happy even when we have had to change plans at the last minute to accommodate our kids. I have learned this painful lesson over time. Every parent of a special child has to. The first time it hits you, you feel devastated. "My kid is DIFFERENT. My life will BE DIFFERENT. We cannot do what other families do. Things that other families take for granted will be impossible for us." This is reality. Other people DON'T fully understand this. They can't. They try. Some people might think they understand -  therapists, special ed teachers, counselors, doctors, even family members, etc... - BUT THEY DON'T! Not until you have walked IN MY SHOES, lived my life, everyday, 24 hours a day, you CANNOT FULLY UNDERSTAND what we face. This is true for all of us. We judge EVERYONE too quickly... God, please give us compassion for others and admit that we DO NOT KNOW what anyone truly faces everyday.
     I pray that this blog will comfort others who walk this same road and let them know THEY ARE NOT ALONE. I pray that everyone else will learn something... that you will understand more about us... that you will be moved to pray and HELP people who face these challenges everyday.

Here is a recent example...
     Lucy Kate has taken dance for the last four years (a wonderful testimony in itself!). We have been AMAZED at what God has helped her to do and I will share more about that later! There is a long list of reasons WHY she should not be able to do this. She has participated in every summer recital (only by God's GRACE), but she has never been able to participate in the smaller one at Christmas. It has always been TOO MUCH. By too much, I am sure you understand about December in general being crazy busy with practices and everything. But also because it was held at Mount Sterling Elementary where she attended Kindergarten and part of the day in 1st grade. IN THE GYM. Where whistles are blown and general chaos goes on everyday. Lots of people. Lots of sounds. Lots of smells. TOO MUCH. She usually runs from that room in terror! Last year she would even get upset if we pulled into the parking lot! I hoped that one day she would be able to participate, and I prayed.
     Last year, when we were doing monthly prayer walks at the schools, she would go with me. She began to understand that the buildings were empty and safe on the weekend. She loved walking the halls and I could hear her praying with us.
     So, this year, when Ms. Kelly started talking about which song her class would do for Christmas, I felt like God wanted me to begin to talk to Lucy Kate about doing it. To talk about it as if SHE WAS GOING TO PARTICIPATE. She seemed excited from the very first day, and as I have learned about my kids, if they get excited and motivated, they usually figure out how to cope with the things that would normally bother them and hinder them from doing something. Also, because it was TIME, God's will and time for her to do it, He will give her the GRACE (power and strength) to do it. It helped that the song Ms. Kelly had chosen was Lucy's favorite, "The Little Drummer Boy". She even asked Santa for a set of drums for Christmas this year. She had been in the basement everyday, listening to KLOVE, and beating on anything that made a satisfying noise for the past year. Santa came through with a set of electronic drums and headphones to control the volume!
     There are several opportunities for them to actually perform the dance - the Homemaker's Bazaar, the nursing home, etc... I felt like we were supposed to shoot for the actual recital. I told grandparents and family about the date and time, but I also warned them that we may not know for sure if she would actually get up on that stage and DO THE DANCE until that night. Maybe not even until the music started. I knew because of past experience to not get too determined that she would do it, and that was OKAY. This was an experience to build on. As I said in my facebook status about that night, "the first time is always the hardest".
I also began to work on some kind of "drum" for the girls to use during part of the song and something for them to use in their hair that would help complete their costumes. All in faith. All in hope that she WOULD DANCE.
     On the night of the recital, all evidence pointed to "GO!" and so we went! Our dear friend and babysitter, Ashley, went with us. I brought makeup, and sparkle spray because to Lucy recital is not recital without "sparkles"! :) We arrived and she went right into the building without any problem. YAY! We went in the gym and let her explore a bit. The stage was decorated beautifully and there was already a good number of people there. So far, so good. Then we went to the bathroom to finish getting ready, and to my horror, I realized we had forgotten her ballet shoes!!! This was a BIG DEAL. Some of you will understand how the slightest detail could set their child off and it could result in a breakdown. I prayed silently and told Lucy Kate about it. I assured her that it was early and that Daddy could save the day (as he often does!) and go home to get them. That would be a 30 minute trip with good traffic conditions and her dance was like the 8th on the list. Daddy agreed (poor Daddy!) and off he went! In the meantime, we saw her classmates and took a few pictures. I could tell she was a little anxious, but God was helping her to have peace.
     When the recital began, she wanted to be in the gym with her friends, just like everybody else. I KNEW this might not be a good idea, but I wanted to give her a chance. I explained that Ms. Kelly was going to use a microphone (for those of you who don't know, Lucy has SUPER SENSITIVE ears. It is the biggest thing we deal with on an everyday basis) and I followed her in. As soon as Ms. Kelly started, she screamed LOUDLY, jumped up, and ran out of the gym. I helped her calm down, and we watched the first couple of songs from the doors. While we were waiting, Daddy arrived with the shoes. When she realized Ms. Kelly was not going to use the microphone again, we went in and sat down with the other girls! Shew. This is BIG. It wasn't long ago that she could not trust that something that upset her would not happen again. We would have had to leave in the middle of something and not go back. (Examples to come later...)
There was a big list of the songs hanging on the wall and she was counting down until it was her turn. This is also a BIG deal. Most children with autism NEED to know what is happening next so they know what to expect. SURPRISES are not welcome! We like routine... sameness is comforting. (Again, I will explain more later...)
     Finally, it was time. She got up and followed the other girls onto the stage. She looked so beautiful up there... LOVELY!

     If you watch closely, you can see that she gets upset when she makes her first mistake, but she held herself together and finished the dance! She didn't let loose and cry until the end. "Lucy make mistakes Mom!!!" When the clapping died down, I was still up front hugging her, comforting her... "I am sooo proud of you Lucy! You did great! Don't be upset. We all make mistakes!" Everyone heard her, and they began to clap for her again!!! We hurried off the stage and I could not hold back the tears! The support in the room was amazing! Most of the parents understand now what a BIG accomplishment this is for her and we are SO BLESSED by them.
     And so, SHE DID IT! Another big accomplishment made possible only by the strength she has in Christ Jesus! Another testimony of HIS amazing grace in her life. (I have to add that she also learned a dance for the candlelight service at our church with the other girls her age, and performed that two nights later!) ALL GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST! There was peace and goodwill for Lucy!

He makes ALL things new!

     There is SO MUCH to tell... I am trying to figure out where to go from here...
I guess one of the first things you need to know is why I chose my background picture for the blog. I wonder how many people will recognize one of the hallways in the old Mount Sterling High School (the old Miller building)? If you need help, check out the drawing of KY on the wall... does that help?
      This is a picture Michael and I took when we went in (with permission) to explore the old building in its worst state. We had the key from the owner and we were not just curious; we felt led to go and do a prayer walk. Needless to say it was fairly dangerous and we had to walk very carefully around broken glass and climb crumbling stairs. We went in the gym (which is gone now) and the auditorium. The floors everywhere were covered in trash and debris. The basement was flooded, but the classrooms still had their old chalkboards and even some desks. Awful things had been done there in secret by people who had broken in... we didn't want to take too many pics because of the graffiti!
      As we explored, we prayed quietly for this place to be restored one day. We wanted God to take over the destiny of this building and for it to be used for His glory. I heard His gentle reminder as we walked the halls - "You will possess the land wherever your foot treads..."
     That year we took our Christmas picture in front of the gym wall - that lovely red brick! And when I would drop Lucy off at preschool I just could not turn out of that parking lot across the street at MCELC without going up the hill to pray at the Miller Building. I prayed for A LOT of things that year... but mostly I would just go there to declare God's will over that property.
      I LOVE that old place! I only went to school there a couple of years, kindergarten and 7th grade, but I have very fond memories of it. Mapleton was also special to me. I taught in the Old Del Gross building in Winchester one year when Clark County Christian used it. And of course one of my other favorite old schools is Irish Acres in Nonesuch, KY. It houses an antique bazaar and the amazing restaurant, The Glitz!
     It came to mean more to me than just an abandoned, neglected piece of property. When I looked at it I saw what others might see - a hopeless situation! Most people would want to tear something like that down, just give up and start over again... but I saw potential! I would pray for it to be RENOVATED, not destroyed.  Restored, brought back to life again. Just like people, it had been abused and broken, used, and torn. I wanted to see the "dry bones" come to life! I truly believed it was what GOD wanted.
    Right after that time we found out that there were other people concerned with the condition and destiny of that property. We had our first ever "Small Town America Festival" in Mt. Sterling, and it was celebrated with a special football game at the high school. The Montgomery County Indians wore Trojan jerseys and the Trojan alumni of Mt. Sterling High were honored at halftime. There was even a song written about it and recorded in the old building and gym! In the extras of the video, several alumni were interviewed and they talked about their feelings about the building, our sweet little town, and when the three high schools were consolidated. Watch it here -  Small Town America - song about Mt. Sterling and the high school.
      There was spotlight for a moment on the whole situation, and then before long we heard that the building had been sold and there were plans in the works to do something!
     Before long, work started and we were hopeful! (The pictures below were taken during that first phase of just cleaning up and gutting it out.) And then...suddenly, it stopped. Zoning laws? I honestly don't know and I need to do some research, but for some reason the plans were abandoned. It must not have been God's purpose. And so, the building sat. Somewhat gutted, open to the weather, an ugly shell. I honestly put it in the back of my mind. I still hoped. I still believed. I just didn't think much about it. Life took over and I was busy running my kids to therapy or teaching home school, or doing the prayer walks at the county schools, or whatever. LIFE.

     Earlier this year I heard a buzz and read something about new plans for using the building! I got excited, thinking about how faithful God is and that nothing He asks us to do is in vain. Then it got moved to the back of my brain. (Okay, stay with me people... there is a reason for this story!)
Fast forward to earlier this week...
     I finally sit down and set up this blog. I had been dragging my feet since May! I chose the design, the color, the font, and decided on this because I like the fact that I can upload my own picture. I started looking through the hundreds of pics on this computer and I chose a current one of our family - it doesn't upload. I chose another of our house - it doesn't upload. So, I start scrolling through and land on these that were taken all those years ago. I try this one and whalla! It worked.
I liked the look and I liked what it represents to me - SOMETHING THAT LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE - LIFELESS - HOPELESS - (something that is precious, but no body knows what to do with it, or how to help it)- WITH GOD, IT CAN BE REVIVED, CHANGED, HEALED, RESTORED!!!
     I was thinking about all this yesterday morning. It was a Tuesday and our routine includes Speech and Occupational Therapy for the kids and I get my one hour break for the week while they are seen. I didn't know what I should do since I didn't have my normal errands to run, but as soon as I stepped out of the waiting room I knew I should go the Miller Building to pray. I got so excited! I had not been there in forever. I expected to pull in and see the normal sight - an empty shell of a building in need to help... BOY WAS I SURPRISED!
     The first thing I noticed was all the men and equipment everywhere. Then, as I pulled into my regular parking space, I saw the lot was repaved, there were new sidewalks, and landscaping everywhere! The gym had been torn down, but right next to that was a sign that read "Sterling Health Care"! I could see that the back part of the building where the cafeteria used to be was restored and was the part housing the clinic! I was stunned! I grabbed my phone and keys and headed into the building to ask questions.

     There was a receptionist and another young lady sitting at the desk. I approached them and tried to hide my excitement. It was beautiful! I told them I just wanted to know info about the clinic and what was to be done with the rest of the building. It is a clinic for people with or without health insurance and Dr. Hall was already there and seeing patients. There will be more expansion and more people who will practice with him. The front of the building will be an assisted living facility! HOW EXCITING! GOD had answered prayer! He was using the building to HEAL and CARE for those who needed it! I was about to burst so I told the ladies that I knew I was the strangest customer they would see today, but that I truly cared about the building and what happened. I said, "I don't know if you know God, but I have been praying for years that the building would be restored and used for His GLORY." I told them thank you for their time and that I wanted to take some pictures before I left. I went out the door and took a pic.
      As I went around the side of the building to see what was going on, I heard someone call out my name. The mother of one of the kids I taught at CTS came out to talk to me. She said she heard me talking and was helping with the development of the building. She wanted to answer any questions I might have and give me a tour! So, I shared with her openly about why I even cared about what was going on. I told her what it represented to me. She said she was excited about what was happening too, and that instead of art on the walls, they wanted to put inspiring words and pictures of the building to give people hope. AMAZING! The rest of the clinic should be done by Dec. 22 and they want to have an open house in January. Then work will begin on the rest.

      The first picture is looking down a hallway at examination rooms and the second is an opening where you can see the old paint and brick walls stripped down and you can look down into the basement where the girl's gym and old locker room used to be. The third pic is of the back of the building where the gym used to be. A lot of people were very sad to find out that the gym was being torn down and someone salvaged some of the wood and made key chains and pins out of it that are available for purchase at the local art center! COOL! That might be the only thing I care about getting for Christmas!
     There have not been any plans made for the separate Harrison Avenue building (pictured below) where I attended kindergarten. She asked me to pray and let her know if anyone had any ideas about what should be done with it... no problem! :) I know God has something GREAT in mind for it too. The exciting thing is that the landscaping is already done around it! That to me is a sign of things to come!

    I promised you a REASON for sharing this story, and here it is...
 Any parent of a child with special needs with tell you this - the first time they were told about their child's disability it felt as if the wind was knocked out of them. As it starts to sink in, it feels as if something has died. Satan wants you to feel hopeless and without answers or direction. Something is "broken" in your child and you cannot do a thing about it. There is NO CURE. You and your child are doomed to live with these problems for the rest of your life. The dreams you dreamed before the diagnosis are gone. BUT, I am here to tell you that is a LIE!!! THERE IS HOPE!!! With God ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL things are possible! I am speaking from experience, not just from faith. I have seen the mighty hand of God do amazing things for our family and God is no respecter of persons... He loves you and yours just as much!
     My prayer for this blog is that God will open your eyes to see that He is busy, right now, doing great things on your behalf! I drove past that building for the last couple of years, thinking it must look the same as it always has - hopeless and empty. This is what I saw...

However, when I let Him take me up the hill to get a different perspective, I got to see that not only was there A LOT going on, but He had already accomplished a lot of work to restore and redeem the building. I pray that when you look at your situation, (no matter what it is) instead of seeing what satan has been up to, all the destruction and havoc that he has caused, that you will see WHAT GOD IS UP TO and that you will have HOPE!!! We have only just begun...

Blog... what an ugly word!

May 25th - last day of school 2011-2012... Lucy and I are sitting at the kitchen table finishing up her project - labeling "The Big Map" of the United States as she likes to call it - and I have this intense conversation with God.

GOD - "You need to share this with other people!"

"SHARE WHAT???"

GOD - "You need to write a blog about your journey so far. Share what I have done and I am doing in your family!"

"God, there are SO many bloggers... I mean EVERYONE blogs now! And especially parents with children with autism. I am NOBODY. My blog will get lost in the sea of blogs. YES, this journey has been nothing short of a miracle! But, who am I?"

GOD - "NO, the question is, WHO AM I? I want to use your story to HELP someone!" (I felt like we were renacting Moses and the Burning Bush!) "I will tell you what to write."


I know better than to disobey. And so, here it is. MY BLOG. (It sounds ugly doesn't it?) I have actually avoided doing this. There were times when I thought that I really should be writing our experiences down so I would not forget it, but at the same time, some things were so painful and raw, I didn't want to relive it again in writing!
But, something has happened lately. I have truly benefitted from reading other people's blogs and books (like Carly's Voice) about their journeys. I actually watched "Autism the Musical" and it didn't hurt at all! AND, I have plans to watch the movie about Temple Grandin's life soon. (We have owned the movie for the past 3 years and despite other people's encouragement, NEVER watched it!) My excuses in the past for avoiding these things was "Hey, I LIVE it!!! I don't need to watch someone else's struggle!"
Please do not get me wrong! Anyone who knows me knows how positive my outlook on things generally is (to the point of driving some people crazy!). In fact, "Pollyanna" is my nickname in some circles. That is precisely why I think this IS so difficult! I do not want to sound like I am complaining! I rarely show other people the "struggle part" of our life. (Who does???) The sad thing is, by not sharing that very often, I am afraid I come off like I think I am a super woman or something. People say to me, "God only chooses 'special people' to give children with special needs!" Well, there have been several times I have thought He made a BIG mistake! (There you go Marty! That's transparent!:) We'll talk more about that later...
I know one reason God wants me to do this is so that our family can TRULY help other people! By being totally transparent, giving the WHOLE story and not just the victories, people will see HOW TRULY MIRACULOUS it is that we have already come as far as we have! ONLY GOD CAN DO THIS! He truly is ENOUGH...